Hi, 2015!

Happy new year! Can't quite believe it is 2015. 2014 went very quickly. There were some terrific ups

Miss you, puppy. xxx

and downs last year, but it was mainly positive. The downs were pretty intense too though. An example: my dog of 14 years was put down due to a traumatic fall. Really missing him.


However, this year is going to be a super great AND productive year. Honest! My new year's resolution this year was to read the Bible in a Year, so I'm using a plan on the Bible app. It's quite interesting, and it's opened my eyes a bit over the last week. In the first devotional, it listed 5 of the most common new year's resolutions:

• Get fit;
• Lose weight;
• Reduce drinking;
• Stop smoking;
• Get out of debt

Yep, they sound familiar. I was interested to research these, and came across the Time.com article "Top 10 Commonly Broken New Year's Resolutions". Lo and behold, it included all five of those things, with the additions of "spend more time with family; travel to new places; be less stressed; volunteer; eat healthier and diet and learn something new." (I've highlighed be less stressed because I thought it was a hilarious resolution - how can you forsee your year being unstressful?!).

Calvin and Hobbes say it how it is

Some of these resolutions are understandable. It would be lovely to get fit, volunteer, go jetsetting off somewhere or spend more time with the family - but this also helps us to highlight where exactly we went wrong last year.

People say, "new year, new me" when 1st January comes around, and seem to look back at all the negative parts of the previous year when saying this. Is the phrase true? Can we just instantly change all our bad bits?

Well, no, not really. There's always going to be bad bits, but why can't we just focus on the good bits? At the end of 2014, after all the sad bits, I kept saying, "what a naff year this year has been". Erm. It wasn't? It was the year I got married! It was the year I had blessing after blessing piled upon me and I didn't stop to reflect on how great those blessings were!

Another example, a friend (who will remain nameless) messaged me one night last week saying how sad they were. Feeling for them, I messaged back, asking why, and she replied saying that she was down about which direction her life is going in, her appearance and her being single. Again, the bad bits of 2014, which she was worried about continuing into 2015.

Well, I was fairly shocked about this message, as my friend was one of my most successful friends in terms of job, with the most incredible, lovely personality, and I personally think her appearance in beautiful! And it is sad (and actually incredibly surprising) that she is still single, as she has literally everything going for her, but this year will be a year of self-realisation for her after her having such a hard relationship before - I just know it!

But we don't in anyway need to change who we are this year. Happiness does not derive from that. As a Christian, I believe happiness comes from living everyday with God at the centre of it all. We are the way he made us, and he blesses us (although we don't always see it). Yes, we will come across sadness, loss, pain, loneliness and illness, but through it all, He is there, with his arms wide open. He knew our plans for 2015, even before we had started it ourselves. You can lose that weight, reduce your drinking, get out of debt or try and be "less stressed", and give up half way through, or you can actually start living! Well, that's what I am going to do anyway.

New year, new outlook.

Splurging out a reflection

I woke up this morning feeling contemplative.

There are so many things happening all around me, and I haven't stopped to even think. Amongst writing my assignments and my dissertation, I've been a socialite, part of a support network, a musician, a photographer, a leader, and a wife. I haven't had a spare moment for the last 6 weeks, and haven't sat around for long enough to enjoy a weekend, yet I feel content!

This time last year, my husband was in Scotland, and I was frazzled. We had something like 8 2500 word assignments to write in 3 months, and a week's placement in the middle. Communication with Simon was very scarce, as he was always busy, and when we did communicate, we often fell out as texts and Facebook can cause so many barriers with there being no body language or facial expressions to decode.

Honestly, it was the hardest period of time I've had to endure! However, we've come out the other end even stronger than before. I do remember, though, having to seek counselling, as there were times when I just couldn't cope.

Anxiety and depression are close acquaintances of mine. I've had to live with them for a few years - in fact, 7 years now (has it really been that long?). In the present day, I can honestly say I feel free of them, but there are days when I wake up and think, "wow, I am not feeling today," or I have a panic attack over something that is not even real.

But look at what I have been blessed with: a loving husband, an incredible family, some of the best friends I could have asked for and a secure home. Why is it that we focus on the negative, when the positive is slapping us around the face screaming, "appreciate me!"?

Unfortunately, it is down to human nature. We are broken people, but we can call on God to help us. Sometimes I forget that. Sometimes I forget that in the list of things I am being, I need to also be a worshipper.

Psalms 25:17 says this: Relieve the trouble of my heart and free me from my anguish. That is my prayer for myself, but also for those people around me that I know are hurting, lonely or anxious. Because, as Jesus said, in my favourite of all passages from the Gospel:
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:34).

(P.S. I apologise in advance for how random this post was, but it was just a splurge, again.)

Autumn & The Lake District

So, the hubs and I went all the way up to Cockermouth in the Lake District for the week. Our first holiday away together after the honeymoon, and I suppose that's meant to make it more exciting, but it was exciting enough, anyway! Simon loves going up there, and seeing his G'ma, so I was more than happy to go, and it was wonderful.

My favourite part of the holiday was seeing the trees just beginning to turn for Autumn. I love Autumn. It's my favourite time of the year. Pumpkin spice lattes, butternut squash soup, cozy scarfs and jumpers, and slippers in front of the fire... although, it doesn't really feel like Autumn, does it? When coming back from University today, I was overheated in the car. It's October, for goodness sake! I don't want an Indian Summer! I just want to get on with the Autumnal-ness.

Anywho, back to the holiday I was talking about... I discovered a few things in the Lakes:

• There is such a thing as eating so much you cannot even think about eating for at least 24 hours. 
• I like photographing the outdoors
• I dislike (even more than normal) visiting endless amounts of bike shops
• Using a hairdryer is quite overrated, and
• Simon and I should not really be allowed to go into small shops. Or dance. Especially not dancing in shops.

Unfortunately, we tend to do the latter a lot. Twice we were spotted for our little dances in the middle of a smaller-than-average shop... The first time was particularly embarrassing because we were dancingk to some 80s sound track in what we thought were tall aisles which would hide us from the public eye. Well, unfortunately, the sales assistant spotted us from her spot at the counter, and, with chin still rested in her hand, leant round to watch us bobbing around. I realised someone was watching and, whilst dancing, looked round and made eye contact with said sales assistant. The normal person would have stopped dancing. I, however, kept dancing and maintain eye contact for about 4 seconds before looking back at what we were examining on the shelf and continuing my jiggle. Eventually I told Simon quietly maybe we should stop...

The second time round, the sales assistant in another shop asked us, "Would you like any help - or are you just enjoying the music?" Cringe.

Life is fun.

Creativity and a bit of Imagination

Today, I thought about my dissertation. Then, my entire being groaned. Then I thought about doing

Creative Impulse by Kim e Sens

some more reading for it. In response, I died a little inside. However, I did do some reading, and I took some time to think and reflect, before throwing down the books and sighing in despair.

I want to base my dissertation around creativity, and what part it has in the classroom. Additionally, I want to research the ways in which moving image is used in Literacy to inspire said creativity within children's writing. I do find all of this interesting, but having had such an amazing summer, I feel slightly unmotivated.

Then I remembered this little TED Talk from Sir Ken Robinson that a friend of mine sent me on our faithful friend, Facebook Messenger:

This was my motivation, and it also made me think about myself and my own creativity. In all honesty, I have a huge imagination. I don't always let this be known, as it can sometimes be a little embarrassing. Sometimes, my imagination is so big that reality and imaginary form into one - even at 23 years old! (My birthday last Thursday was great, thanks for asking.) Often enough, this can cause issues with my outlook on life. There have been a few times where I have imagined having a fatal illness for so long that I suddenly believe I do and fall into a spiral of anxiety. Some of my friends like to tease me (all good natured, of course) about how I am so gullible, but the truth is: in my head, I am imagining that scenario they have made up to trick me and in there, it is not beyond the realms of possibility.

That, and I'm just plain stupid.

It's not all bad though. Having a big imagination is not always a hindrance. Without sounding big-headed, I think sometimes it is a talent to be able to create a whole different world, series of events and characters within the confines of my head. I grew up writing short stories, and now I live them by gaming and sometimes playing MMORPGS.

If I could, I would completely lose myself to my fantasy world, but I know that if I go too far in, it is hard to get back out again. I lose myself to the pretend, and my grasp on reality. It's a real problem for me, you know. I had to seek counselling for a while about it.

Anyway, what I am trying to say is...

I want to be a teacher that can use my imagination and creativity to motivate and inspire children. Maybe sometimes my ideas are not always realistic, and lessons may flop due to the fact that I didn't think about the reality of the situation before initiating the teaching, but I want to be able to show children that it's good to be creative. We need to develop creativity in children, so that our world can continue to develop in new exciting ways! I want to mould writers, artists, musicians and dancers out of my children. I know this is entirely possible, because, as Ken Robinson says: we are born creative - we just grow out of it.

A few more babblings..

Note: Blog posts will not be this frequent, I can assure you. I just have a lot of time on my hands.

So, within the last post I didn't really introduce Polka Dot Beans very well. I only explained why I started it.

What is it going to be about? Will it be around a particular topic? Perhaps something to do with cooking, as it has the word 'beans' in? Or just polka dots?

Well, actually, I think it will be around a few things. My friend, who I talked about in the last post, wanted me to write about married life. Well, yeah. I can do that, but it might get a little boring.

I thought about also writing about little teachy things, as I am in my final year of teacher training. It might be a good idea for me to reflect on things, and I quite like nerdy-tech related resources.

Also: I am a nerd, so maybe I will write about nerdy-tech things, not just resources.

Additionally: I am a Pinterest addict, so, who knows, maybe I will post little trinkets I find within a

blog post? (BTW, how can you not like Pinterest? Just look at these ZUCCHINI PIZZA BITES! Ingenious.)

Anyway. The point is, Polka Dot Beans won't have a particular topic. When I was thinking about what to call my blog, I considered many things, but the one name that came to my head first was Polka Dot Beans, because I reckon that if polka dot beans existed not one of them would be the same as the other - a bit like people.

I think that is how my blog will look. A bit of a cacophany of different bits and bobs that people might find interesting. Who knows?

Hopefully my writing style will improve. I am fully aware that my babbling has no structure to it. It's because I'm very easily distracted, okay?!

Enjoy my first dance, if you really wish to see it.

Jaz xo

A Month Into Marriage (& Post-Weddingness)

Literally a month ago from right now, I had been married for around about 6 hours. Although, by the time I've finished this, it will probably be even longer than that!

I can't quite believe it has happened and a month has passed. I imagine that is how it feels to all newly wed women. I do, sometimes, feel the post-wedding blues, though - especially when browsing Pinterest and gazing upon pretty little ideas that I "definitely should have used at the Jazimon wedding". However, it was a beautiful day, and I actually couldn't have asked for a better wedding. My husband, I'm sure, concurs! Or at least I will say that he does, as I am already speaking on his behalf (I am his wife after all).

So, why have I randomly started a blog with the most bizarre name in the world I hear you ask? Well, there is a reason behind my madness and I shall explain. A week ago, I was speaking to an old friend of mine on Facebook who came along to the wedding. She hadn't met my husband, and, for reasons which don't really matter anymore, we hadn't really seen each other as much as we used to. I had invited her and her partner to the wedding because she had been a huge part of my life, and I really wanted her back in it - and besides, what I wanted most was for her to share in the happiness of the wedding day like I'd wanted for all my other nearest and dearest. Old or new, a friend is a friend, so I popped her an invite in the post.

Sorry, I digress. I do this a lot.

Anyway, fast forward again to last week! My friend and I (who shall be nameless!) were talking about how she had got to know my husband without getting to meet him. It was through my 100 days of Weddingness.

 --- For those of you who don't know, 100 Days of Weddingness is my adaptation of 100 days of happiness - a recent craze on Facebook, where you post a picture and small anecdote publicly to show followers how happy you are in contrast to how miserable everyone else is. ---

 Within my Weddingness posts, I would write something for myself (and for others if they wanted to read it, though I imagine there was a 90% rate of bypassing it on most of my friends' news feeds...) about my husband-to-be. Sometimes they were sloshy-sop-fests, and sometimes they were embarrassing horror stories about our relationship. I wanted to write a post every day for 100 days relating to my relationship with my husband so that in years to come, I could look back, and think about how magical the lead up the wedding had been, as well as our pre-marriage relationship! (With the invention of Time Hop also gracing our phones, that makes my life even easier now! I don't have to scroll down relentlessly, I can, without hassle, just repost year after year after year after... *groans are heard from my Facebook feed*)

Here is a shot snippet of an example of a Weddingness post:

#Day4 #96daystogo #100daysofweddingness -

New Years Eve of 2011-2012 was a bit weird really, because everything was a bit up in the air, and Simon invited me to this NYE party he was at. When I found out it was just me and him I had a complete panic, worrying that this was a date or something!! So I texted Simon saying "This isn't a date is it?" to which I got the response "no".

The evening was okay but I felt a bit out of place. Simon tried his best to make me feel part of the occasion, but then I managed to drink him under the table and he was first to chunder (such a lovely pair we were...). Also I like to remind him that I won that battle.

Anyway, I think the highlight of my night was at midnight when Simon went to give me a Happy New Year peck on the cheek and got my ear. Smooth.

Even though that night makes me feel awkward, I'm really glad it happened because it opened up so much more!

And yes, there was a lovely picture of my hubby everytime - and you can see the miraculous growth of his hair in them, too!

Anyway, I digress. Again!

My friend liked these posts and asked me whether or not I had considered blogging about things like marriage and so on. I said no, because I had no time and life is crazy and why would anyone want to read the rubbish I spurt out and blablabla... but after thinking about it, I thought, why the heck not? I don't care if no one reads it, I guess it's for me. But if people do read it, I could encourage them to take up the...

100 Days of Weddingness Challenge!

Go on, do it. It's quite fun, although you'll need to think long and hard about what to write about. 100 things on 100 days before the wedding. Write a post, and then post a photo. Here are some things you could write about:

1. Something wonderful about your husband to be
2. A funny anecdote about your h2b (but not humiliating)
3. A memorable day out or event with your h2b (I like abbreviations)
4. How you met
5. How he proposed
6. Something you did that was weddingy with your husband.

Honestly, the 100 days of Weddingness was the best thing I did - not just because it was fun, and a
challenge, but because it actually made me reflect, whilst writing it, on how wonderful and awesome my h2b was. I think it made me even more excited than I was to spend the rest of my life with him. It also makes your other half feel great too... I mean, he didn't admit it, but I'm sure he felt good seeing all these great things being posted about him.

---OK, so maybe the example within this post was a slightly embarrassing one for him, but we both saw that event happening in that way. Sort of. ---

Anywhooo... I hope I haven't bored readers to tears, and I really hope you will consider doing the 100 Days of Weddingness. If you do, maybe comment? Would be great to hear if others did it...

For now, though, I'm off. Hope you've enjoyed trying to keep up with the first babblings of Polka Dot Beans.

Jaz xo