Hi, 2015!

Happy new year! Can't quite believe it is 2015. 2014 went very quickly. There were some terrific ups

Miss you, puppy. xxx

and downs last year, but it was mainly positive. The downs were pretty intense too though. An example: my dog of 14 years was put down due to a traumatic fall. Really missing him.


However, this year is going to be a super great AND productive year. Honest! My new year's resolution this year was to read the Bible in a Year, so I'm using a plan on the Bible app. It's quite interesting, and it's opened my eyes a bit over the last week. In the first devotional, it listed 5 of the most common new year's resolutions:

• Get fit;
• Lose weight;
• Reduce drinking;
• Stop smoking;
• Get out of debt

Yep, they sound familiar. I was interested to research these, and came across the Time.com article "Top 10 Commonly Broken New Year's Resolutions". Lo and behold, it included all five of those things, with the additions of "spend more time with family; travel to new places; be less stressed; volunteer; eat healthier and diet and learn something new." (I've highlighed be less stressed because I thought it was a hilarious resolution - how can you forsee your year being unstressful?!).

Calvin and Hobbes say it how it is

Some of these resolutions are understandable. It would be lovely to get fit, volunteer, go jetsetting off somewhere or spend more time with the family - but this also helps us to highlight where exactly we went wrong last year.

People say, "new year, new me" when 1st January comes around, and seem to look back at all the negative parts of the previous year when saying this. Is the phrase true? Can we just instantly change all our bad bits?

Well, no, not really. There's always going to be bad bits, but why can't we just focus on the good bits? At the end of 2014, after all the sad bits, I kept saying, "what a naff year this year has been". Erm. It wasn't? It was the year I got married! It was the year I had blessing after blessing piled upon me and I didn't stop to reflect on how great those blessings were!

Another example, a friend (who will remain nameless) messaged me one night last week saying how sad they were. Feeling for them, I messaged back, asking why, and she replied saying that she was down about which direction her life is going in, her appearance and her being single. Again, the bad bits of 2014, which she was worried about continuing into 2015.

Well, I was fairly shocked about this message, as my friend was one of my most successful friends in terms of job, with the most incredible, lovely personality, and I personally think her appearance in beautiful! And it is sad (and actually incredibly surprising) that she is still single, as she has literally everything going for her, but this year will be a year of self-realisation for her after her having such a hard relationship before - I just know it!

But we don't in anyway need to change who we are this year. Happiness does not derive from that. As a Christian, I believe happiness comes from living everyday with God at the centre of it all. We are the way he made us, and he blesses us (although we don't always see it). Yes, we will come across sadness, loss, pain, loneliness and illness, but through it all, He is there, with his arms wide open. He knew our plans for 2015, even before we had started it ourselves. You can lose that weight, reduce your drinking, get out of debt or try and be "less stressed", and give up half way through, or you can actually start living! Well, that's what I am going to do anyway.

New year, new outlook.

Splurging out a reflection

I woke up this morning feeling contemplative.

There are so many things happening all around me, and I haven't stopped to even think. Amongst writing my assignments and my dissertation, I've been a socialite, part of a support network, a musician, a photographer, a leader, and a wife. I haven't had a spare moment for the last 6 weeks, and haven't sat around for long enough to enjoy a weekend, yet I feel content!

This time last year, my husband was in Scotland, and I was frazzled. We had something like 8 2500 word assignments to write in 3 months, and a week's placement in the middle. Communication with Simon was very scarce, as he was always busy, and when we did communicate, we often fell out as texts and Facebook can cause so many barriers with there being no body language or facial expressions to decode.

Honestly, it was the hardest period of time I've had to endure! However, we've come out the other end even stronger than before. I do remember, though, having to seek counselling, as there were times when I just couldn't cope.

Anxiety and depression are close acquaintances of mine. I've had to live with them for a few years - in fact, 7 years now (has it really been that long?). In the present day, I can honestly say I feel free of them, but there are days when I wake up and think, "wow, I am not feeling today," or I have a panic attack over something that is not even real.

But look at what I have been blessed with: a loving husband, an incredible family, some of the best friends I could have asked for and a secure home. Why is it that we focus on the negative, when the positive is slapping us around the face screaming, "appreciate me!"?

Unfortunately, it is down to human nature. We are broken people, but we can call on God to help us. Sometimes I forget that. Sometimes I forget that in the list of things I am being, I need to also be a worshipper.

Psalms 25:17 says this: Relieve the trouble of my heart and free me from my anguish. That is my prayer for myself, but also for those people around me that I know are hurting, lonely or anxious. Because, as Jesus said, in my favourite of all passages from the Gospel:
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:34).

(P.S. I apologise in advance for how random this post was, but it was just a splurge, again.)